As I sit here on this plane ride, I'm given the prime opportunity to do something I rarely do...reflect. I often at times will find anything to do besides think about my faults and my mistakes.


 These past couple of months I have made some drastic life changes. I ended my relationship with.my college sweetheart, moved into a new place, quit my barely begun career for a new one, and my newest conquest was taking a spontaneous trip to Hawaii to see someone who can always help me realize my faults while also making me feel like I'm the most special person in the world.


A great friend of mine called me on my tropical trip to ask me if I was mentally okay. He called to see if I  was having a sort of breakdown. His concern about new found sense of adventure came to me as a shock. I love to try new things, meet new people, and challenge myself. He has known me for eight years. Shouldn't these personal  attributes shown through.the numerous times we talked and hung out?


 The answer is no. Of course not. For all of high school and college I  have always been trying to meet others' expectations. I cannot tell you how many songs and concerts and radio stations I have have listened to just to please the guy I'm  dating. That's just the start of it. I have dated quite a few guys and with each Guy my dreams, likes, and pet peeves were shaped around this individual. None of these misconceptions should be blamed on anyone but myself.

Throughout all of my choices, whether it was fear of rejection or my low self esteem, I was always terrified to stray away from the flock. I believe a particular combination of events has given me the confidence and the strength to finally be the person I want to be.                                               

There are several promises I am making to myself. They all have to revolve around one word: settle. 

I promise that I will never settle on my self image. Thrifty five pounds ago I was convinced that being chubby and eating fast food all the time is okay. 

I'm not going to settle. 

Until recently I rarely ever turned down a date, regardless if I knew it was going to lead to a good story tell friends or as bad as it sounds a free dinner.

I'm not going to settle.

I refuse work somewhere where there is no challenge or no way to work up.

I am not going to settle.

Never again will my personality and dreams be swayed or determined by another individually besides God.

I'm not going to settle.

This recent Epiphany is new to me and I'm going to try my best to stick to my revelation. So yes I may have made some drastic changes, but at least I can safely say I have no regret. :-)